Is the opinion of others of you more important that your own opinion of you?

Do you need other-directed-reaffirmation more than you need self-affirmation. For most of us, myself included, we need our life affirmed by those most important to us, including our bosses. My father was a supervisor in a lumber mill. He said that employees were more motivated by praise from their superiors than from any other means, including pay raises. Are you self-actualized, or do you need your life defined by others?

Is the opinion of others of you more important that your own opinion of you?
Good question. As confident as one may be, I believe that confidence, if not generated, is at least reinforced by the relationships with others.





We humans can not live alone. We require the stimulus and interaction with others. Your example of your father is excellent. I have found the same to be true with my company. However it goes one step further. As "the boss" I also enjoy the respect of my employees. I can't tell you how much it means to me to have one express their gratitude for my commitment to them and the customers. They understand that without that, there would be no job for them.





But back to you question. We all need affirmation from others. But the degree in which we need it varies. And the way we attain it varies also. I am not in a position to get it from my "boss". But I do seek it from my customers, vendors, and employees. That doesn't mean my life is defined by them. That's my responsibility.





So by extension, I would have to say I am self-actualized.





The most important point is, in the end, ones station in life doesn't really matter. We all need and want the same thing.
Reply:Great question! Life is full of ups and downs when we need affirmation by others...family, bosses, important people. It will also be filled with disappointments because one is always waiting...waiting to be appreciated, waiting to be thanked, waiting for affirmation, waiting for an apology. Eventually, you look within and if you and your conscience agree, "good enough".
Reply:Ah, you're talking about me now - lol.





I am more self-actualized than most I do not need my life defined by others.





It came from a mother who loved me unconditionally and a strong support system as a youngster and more importantly - genetics I think. My family for the most part is like me. Though, I am the most comfortable in self.





This is what others strive for their whole lives, but alas, it comes with a steep price. The people around you will resent you and do everything in their power to break you.





I switched jobs a lot to escape. Later on, I would meet past co-workers who admitted that they were jealous of me. A couple said they 'wanted' to be me.





Their actions hurt my career a lot finally I prematurely quit working all together and now I am the most content than I've ever been.





I am better off when not around others. I do not feel lonely nor do I miss 'life'. I find happiness within myself and my family circle.
Reply:I only disappoint myself when I do not live up to my own principles. I value your opinion only because it is an aspect of who you are. It is the outcome of your life experiences, and it reflects your purpose, which is something beautiful. I only give my opinion when I recognize something beautiful, or I see something which will enlighten you on your life's journey. I accept people's opinions in much the same way. The connection between the giver and receiver becomes all the more enchanting when the opinion given resonates with the receiver's own inner guidelines.
Reply:Not any more I don't. You see aging does have it's benefits and that is one of them.


I grew up my whole life trying to please my father or husband.


When they praised me, I was happy. I felt I had done good.





Certainly it's important to please your boss but that also has limits.


I know it isn't possible to just please ourselves all the time and depend on others for that pat on the head.





Some opinions of other matter and some don't. As long as you can distinguish which ones are important, then all should be well under your skin.
Reply:no














yes














no

















yes?

















NO!
Reply:We see ourselves in the others mirrors then the others opinion is important ... but the rate of importance depens on the persons and diffrent from one to one.
Reply:I don't try to let others define me. I live for myself, and as long as my opinion of myself is good, then that's all that matters to me.