Has anyone ever been to a reception and guest paid for there own food?

Ok, my fiance and I are in a financial situation. Our wedding is June 30, 2007. Instead of calling off the entire wedding and going to the Justice of Peace, we still want our ceremony. All of my bridesmaid have already paid for there dresses, as well as myself (the bride). There is a no refund policy. I still want to get together with family %26amp; friends afterwards, but at a nice restaraunt we have here in town, and have them pay for there own food.





How can I incorporate that on the wedding invitation. I was thinking maybe including a menu from the restaraunt with prices, and have my guest RSVP with there order %26amp; there check. What's your opinion, how should I do it? I know some of you may say it's tacky %26amp; cheap to do it this way. But, I honestly think it's definately a money saver.

Has anyone ever been to a reception and guest paid for there own food?
I would suggest that you get with some of your close family and tell them what the problems is and see if they will either give you some money are help cook food for the reception. Sometime family come together and thing will come out great. Give family a try.
Reply:Agree with the answer above. Have a potluck. I can't think of a way to invite people to a reception dinner and then tell them how to pay for it.
Reply:You need to talk to Miss Manners! There is no way that you can observe accepted etiquette and ask your guests to pay for their own food at your reception! Your idea is the ultimate in tackiness! I can not believe that you would even consider such a concept. If you absolutely can not afford any sort of reception (how about the hors d'oeuvres idea?), if your parents can not help you financially, then you should simply forego the reception altogether. Even the pot luck suggestion is fairly tacky. You might consider having a very small guest list for your wedding, afterwards inviting them to your home for an informal gathering with light refreshments. Any plan is preferable to including a menu with your formal invitations and asking the invitees to return checks with their responses; please reconsider, or someone will surely be writing to complain about you to Dear Abby!!
Reply:Just have a potluck
Reply:Yes, that is most definately a money saver. But it is the most tacky and rude thing that you can possibly do. You don't invite people to a reception and expect them to pay for their own food. That's why you are the host, and they are GUESTS.





If you can't afford the reception you have in mind, then change the reception you have planned. Cut the guest list to an affordable number. Or switch to a cheaper restaurant. Or skip the dinner reception altogether and have a short cake and champagne reception.
Reply:No, and wouldn't attend in that case. It is NOT DONE to have people pay for their own meal - they are then not your guests.


If you cannot afford a reception, then you just NOT have one. Period. An alternative would be to have friends and family help you make food, and have a simple meal at your home.
Reply:If you can't afford to have a wedding...then don't have one. To ask guests to pay for their own food is in unbelievably poor taste. It's sort of, I'm having a party, you pay for everything. By the way, don't forget to bring me a gift. I will guarantee a lot of people will decline. I know I would.
Reply:From my experience at a friends wedding yes and we changed the whole banquet scenario /menu.


Everyone contributed a dish no one had ever eaten and everyone tried to make something close to that which would have been served in an actual banquet setting


My friends wedding was devine ...All they did was call each guest and let them know in advance if they were willing to bring something or contribute wine or cake something but we all pitched in weddings are meant for families and friends rather then canceling the honeymoon %26amp; the wedding all together... some minor details had to change regarding the menu to keep it going IT WAS A BLAST AND THERE WERE EVEN LEFTOVERs WHAT GREAT FUN ...instead of announcing on the invites be personable


as these are your guest and invite a few over at a time or even fone them but make a personal approach not your mother or father or anyone else postman You and our spouse do it as a team together to reach out they will admire you for that and appreciate your honesty moreso glad your willing to sacrifice and eat their dishes.
Reply:just do cake and punch with a few nuts and mints. That is inexpensive and will make you happy too
Reply:you are very right it is very tacky but if u dont have a choice do it that way but then don't feel bad if u are the talk of the town and not for good reasons
Reply:Wow, I would be offended. It's not only tacky and cheap, but utterly tasteless. It's on the same dirty level as asking for cash gifts. Why not have a buffet or even a potluck?
Reply:Hon, EVERYONE is "in a financial situation." That doesn't make this behavior any less RUDE.





The etiquette and required manners are the same, be you rich or poor! The host(s) plan to provide what they can afford to provide (be it an egg salad sandwich or be it lobster), and the guest accepts the host's hospitality AND IS NOT CHARGED FOR IT.





If you are issuing invitations, you are HOSTING and that meas you are PAYING. There is no polite way to invite people to take THEMSELVES out to dinner. What you are thinking of doing is just WRONG, bad manners, and unethical.





Find something you CAN afford to serve all your guests, like for example: put on the invitations that it is a "dessert reception," then just serve dessert, coffee, tea, and soft drinks, at this restaurant you have selected.





It can be as simple as a tray of cookies and a festive bowl of non-alcoholic punch, in the entranceway of your chapel (Approx cost: less than $100). But what you provide your guests must be PAID FOR and PROVIDED by YOU, the host(s)!





You and your groom can go out to dinner, just the two of you, later, if you want a fancy dinner you can only afford for yourselves.
Reply:Such a perversion of etiquette will ensure that you have a very small, quiet, unfulfilling get-together. In fact, such a gauche idea printed on my wedding invitation would ensure that you have at least 1 extra seat at the wedding.





Reconsider your idea. Better to have chips and dip than to become the laughing stock of the neighborhood.





Good Luck
Reply:I would either find someone with a big back yard or a decent park location and get some family members to cater it for you. Sandwiches, spaghetti, chili, whatever, but those are realitiely inexpensive items that usually go over nicely. Or the potluck idea is also good. If everyone brings their "specialty," you'll have lots of awesome food there!
Reply:WoW!! I'd be offended. Just serve orderves instead. People might not show up for that. Don't do it. Just have a ceremony without a reception.
Reply:Are you honestly suggesting that you ask guests to send a check with their RSVP?? Are you for real or is this some colossal joke? I don't even know where to begin to try to explain to you how crass, tasteless, tacky, and ridiculous that is to even suggest! You said and I quote "I honestly think it's definitely a money saver." Why not just charge a cover fee too? Like another person said...you are going to be the laughing stock of the neighborhood. This has got to go down as the cheapest, tackiest wedding idea of I have ever heard of in my life. Buy a damn sheet cake and coffee and serve that after your wedding...if you can't afford at least that, you certainly shouldn't be getting married! Blunt? yes...but you asked.
Reply:Will u b able to bring your cake throw the bouquet,garter b able to do u first dance.Its your day do wat the hell u want i did.I think u should give them a certain time to reply back so u will no about how many people will show. Its odd give a try.If not have both side of the family cook.
Reply:I have never had that happen to me before and am not sure how I would feel about it honestly. I agree that it is probably very tacky, but I understand your want/need to do it. Receptions are SO expensive. How about if instead of dinner, do something small like h'orsdevours and cake with a punch and non-alcoholic drinks. we chose to have our wedding early and are serving brunch as it is a much cheaper route to take.


Good Luck and congrats on the upcoming wedding.